I’m putting this out there because I’m genuinely stuck, and I’m hoping some of you have been where I am and can offer some wisdom. Here’s my situation: I’m in my 30s, married with three young kids, and I work from home in northwest Ohio. On paper, my life is full—and in many ways it is. But I’m also dealing with some significant loneliness and isolation that I can’t seem to shake. ...
Judith Shulevitz offers up a (depressing) eye-opening analysis of our overbusy lives. There is another way! But community and Sabbath both require sacrifice. Whereas we once shared the same temporal rhythms—five days on, two days off, federal holidays, thank-God-it’s-Fridays—our weeks are now shaped by the unpredictable dictates of our employers. Nearly a fifth of Americans hold jobs with nonstandard or variable hours. They may work seasonally, on rotating shifts, or in the gig economy driving for Uber or delivering for Postmates. Meanwhile, more people on the upper end of the pay scale are working long hours. Combine the people who have unpredictable workweeks with those who have prolonged ones, and you get a good third of the American labor force. The personalization of time may seem like a petty concern, and indeed some people consider it liberating to set their own hours or spend their “free” time reaching for the brass ring. But the consequences could be debilitating for the U.S. in the same way they once were for the U.S.S.R. A calendar is more than the organization of days and months. It’s the blueprint for a shared life. “Why You Never See Your Friends Anymore” (The Atlantic)
Maybe you, like me, consider yourself quite the introvert. Maybe you, like me, have a difficult time walking the tightrope between feeling quickly overwhelmed by interpersonal relationships, on the one hand, and feeling incredibly lonely, on the other hand. Maybe you, like me, feel these problems acutely as a male (although I’m sure that females are having their own relational struggles as our culture increasingly pressures us all to be “alone together,” looking at our screens instead of looking each other in the eye). ...