Personal

Here are 32 things I’ve learned from life, so far. You are not your thoughts. There is a “you” behind and above your inner voice/monologue/dialogue. Pay attention to what you pay attention to. Think about what you think about. We always only have the present moment. Focusing too much on the future leads to anxiety. Focusing too much on the past leads to depression. Wherever you are, be fully there, now! (Read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle [affiliate link here and throughout] for more on this.) It’s OK not to be OK. Feeling anxious, depressed, angry, etc. is fine. However, avoid the trap of feeling anxious about how anxious you feel, feeling depressed about how depressed you feel, etc. (Learned this from The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris.) If you never make mistakes, you’re not learning/growing as well as you could be. Perfectionism is a deadly prison. Break free with “good enough” and “always learning.” You are stronger than you think you are. You are weaker than you think you are. Ask more questions. Ask better questions. God is not a thing among things. There is an “infinite qualitative difference” between God and everything that is not God, everything that exists. Jesus of Nazareth is the living Lord of all. ___ is not. Beware of overconfidence in what the Bible (or any other sacred text, for that matter) “clearly”does or does not say. God is devoted to the poor and powerless. Those who speak and act on God’s behalf should speak and act for the poor and powerless. To do better with people, ask them questions about themselves. (Read the classic How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.) You can’t out-exercise your appetite forever. Eat food. Mostly plants. Not too much. Get enough sleep. You probably don’t get enough sleep. Lift heavy things. Go outside. Take a walk. Open a Roth IRA. Invest consistently in low-cost mutual funds or lifecycle funds as soon as you can. (Learned this from I Will Teach You to Be Rich by Ramit Sethi.) Reading is a superpower. You can learn from as many other lives and lifetimes as you want. Learn how to read. Then learn how to learn. Then, learn whatever you want! Always read with a pen or pencil in your hand. If you really want to learn from a book, buy a physical copy and annotate the heck out of it. You always have to earn and keep your audience’s attention. Before/while communicating, ask yourself “Why should they care? What’s in it for them?” Humans are incredibly good at misunderstanding each other. Before/while communicating, ask yourself “How might I be misunderstood? How might I be misunderstanding others?” Remember that you and your loved ones are all going to die. What do you want to be known for? Eulogize people BEFORE they die. Everyone should go to therapy for at least a few months. “Slow is smooth. Smooth is fast.” Feeling nervous/stressed/angry/etc.? SLOW DOWN, especially if you’re in front of other people. Courage is a choice, not a feeling. No matter how nervous you are, you can always ACT courageously. Everyone is trying to figure it out as they go along. Do you often feel like an imposter? Join the club! Act like you’ve been here before. Act like you’ve done this before. Act calm, comfortable, and confident, if for no other reason than to help the people around you feel calm, comfortable, and confident. Leadership is service. Leadership is the willingness to make a decision for the good of the group even when it’s awkward or uncomfortable to do so. Focus on what you can control. Journal. What do you really want? What are you afraid of? What’s the most important thing you need to get done today? Get a notebook and write it down! In many domains, 80% of the outcomes/effects come from 20% of the inputs/causes. Find the “vital few” things that have outsized impacts, both positive and negative, on your life. Double-down on what’s helping you. Get rid of what’s hurting you. Use smoked paprika. You’re welcome.

When I changed my major from Mechanical Engineering to Bible shortly before my first semester of college, I realized that what I was studying was not going to make me rich. So, throughout undergrad, seminary, and into a Ph.D. program in theology, the notion of “bi-vocational ministry” (serving the church while also making money outside of the church doing something else) was on my radar screen. In fact, for a few months between finishing seminary and starting my Ph.D. program, I tried to teach myself the basics of web design (HTML, CSS, JavaScript) and Ruby on Rails. (I signed up for an account on Treehouse and on freeCodeCamp and I got to work!) ...

I’m working my way through the classic job search guide What Color Is Your Parachute. First, I’ll summarize the 7-part “Flower Petal” exercise—a comprehensive self-assessment geared toward the workplace. Then, I’ll share *my* results from the self-assessment. Ah, but first, my TL;DR: If you’re looking for work, or going to be looking for work soon, do yourself a huge favor and buy the latest edition of What Color Is Your Parachute. Work through the book, especially the Flower Petal Exercise. It’s well-worth your time! ...

I received word yesterday that the Ph.D. Committee voted to approve my request for “Excused Program Leave” beginning in January 2021 and lasting until January 2022. At the risk of sounding like Captain Obvious, 2020 has been a particularly difficult year. Attempting to complete my “Barth, Bonhoeffer, and the Bible” dissertation has taken a toll on my mental health as I ran into some major research and writing roadblocks right before and during the COVID pandemic. ...

Hey everyone! Just a brief update to note that I’m looking for a new role to supplement my part-time work as Managing Editor of Anglican Compass! I’m pretty flexible at this point, but I want to do something that benefits the church. I think I would make a great Assistant Rector! 🙂 Any advice, opportunities, or connections you can offer would be appreciated! You can view/share my CV here. And here’s my LinkedIn profile. ...

This is, admittedly, a half-baked opinion. However, I need to get back in the habit of blogging/writing regularly, so here goes. In my opinion, the use of the sign of the cross in clergy names/signatures—unless it’s done in official ecclesiastical communication or immediately after a blessing or prayer for the recipient—is pretentious. It’s showy. At the very least, it conveys or connotes pretentiousness. Note that I’m not making a claim about the *people* who use crosses in their signatures, their inner thoughts, or their intentions. For all I know, every single clergyperson out there says a prayer of blessing for their recipients every single time they use the sign of the cross in a signature. I’m also not writing this about any person in particular. ...

Due to increased symptoms of depression and anxiety in recent weeks, I’ve decided to try out a combination of counseling and medication. Sure, I’ve still been able to get out of bed in the morning. And I wasn’t having any serious thoughts about hurting myself. But still, I was feeling hopeless and trapped often enough that I decided it was time to seek out help. I know, I know. That’s pretty personal for a blog post for the whole internet to read! ...

I needed this prayer this morning, and I plan to return to it often in the days ahead. Most loving Father, you will us to give thanks for all things, to dread nothing but the loss of you, and to cast all our care on the One who cares for us. Preserve us from faithless fears and worldly anxieties, and grant that no clouds of this mortal life may hide from us the light of that love which is immortal, and which you have manifested unto us in your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. ...

Not sure how this is going to go, or even why I’m doing this anymore, but here we go! Still praying for either a dissertation break-through or a clear sign that I should quit. I hope to receive or discover one of those before the end of the calendar year.

After listening to the Blinkist summary of Cal Newport’s Deep Work (I’ve read the book, this was just for a refresher), I’m convinced that it’s time for another 30-day fast from Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. I think I’ll still keep my micro.blog up and running, but between running Anglican Compass and sprinting for some last-ditch clarity on my increasingly frustrating dissertation, I need all the extra bandwidth I can get! If you need to get in touch for some reason, please use the contact form on my website. You can also sign up for my very occasional email newsletter here. ...

For months and months now, I’ve been praying for either (1) a breakthrough on my “Barth, Bonhoeffer, and the Bible” dissertation or (2) a clear sign that I should quit the Ph.D. Unfortunately, after countless confusing dead ends in my endeavors to put Karl Barth and Dietrich Bonhoeffer into precise conversation with each other regarding specific passages of the Bible, I’ve now realized that such an approach is not going to work. ...

After realizing just how easy it was to lose access to the physical books that I own (now sequestered in my library carrel at Wheaton), on a bit of a whim I created a fundraiser to help my upgrade my Logos Bible Software library to either the Anglican Gold ($216) or Anglican Platinum ($582) libraries. Upgrading would help me in my preaching, teaching, and writing roles (as a pastor-theologian and as the Managing Editor of AnglicanCompass.com). I’ve already benefited immensely from the Anglican Silver package I bought when I got into the Logos Bible Software ecosystem a couple years ago (mainly to gain easy digital access to Barth and Bonhoeffer’s writings for my dissertation). I plan to stick with Logos—especially for biblical commentaries, systematic theologies, and reference works—because it allows me to quickly research, prepare for sermons, answer questions from readers, etc. ...

There is not unanimous agreement about women’s ordination in the worldwide Anglican Communion. Godly and thoughtful Christians hold opposing convictions about Holy Orders and who is called to ordained ministry. You often see the results of this debate at the Provincial level—a national expression of the Church may or may not ordain women, in accordance with their conviction. But for the Anglican Church in North America this disagreement is internal to the Province, varying from diocese to diocese and bishop to bishop. ...

Almost every vocational deacon I know, when asked why he or she has not become a priest, will respond, “I have never felt called to the priesthood.” Some will add emphatically, “not for a minute!” I am not one of those deacons. I don’t share this story often, rarely in its fullness, and never in public non-anonymous writing. Be gentle with my soul, O Church. The words which follow are all too raw. ...

Editor’s Note: The piece below represents the opinion of the author. Anglican Compass does not take a site-wide position for or against women’s ordination. We do, however, require both clarity and charity. We ask that your responses to it do so as well. Over the past several months, readers of Anglican Compass have engaged with many opinions on the topic of women’s ordination. One wonders, given the state of dual integrities within the ACNA and the ever-churning blog debates between our public intellectuals, what is the point of another take on this issue? ...